For the longest time I wanted to be a teacher, I remember specifically when I was 8 playing school. God placed children on my heart. I know that somewhere in my life there needs to be children. I always equated that with being a teacher. So starting in elementary school I researched what you had to do and what path I had to follow and I started down it. By grade 9 I had universities picked out, I had folders on each one, details about the towns they were in, scholarships I could apply for. I was a little OCD with the planning. I got into a school that was at the top of my list and while I was here I began planning for when I was done. It wasn’t until my status in my program was in jeopardy that I really stopped in my tracks to look at where I was going. I planned so long ago what my path was going to be, when I finally stopped I figured out that I’ve just been following arrows/steps. I really sat and thought about it and I have finally figured out that...this...this career and this path is not who I am .
Once I knew that, I starting thinking...‘Kelsey, what is something you can truly see yourself doing?’ And its funny because now that I think about it, its been in the back of my mind for such a long time. My grandmother was one and my mother was one. A secretary, or as they call them now Office Administrators. I’ve always loved organization and working with computers. I love a job where I have tasks to complete. Its something I thrive at. Some people I’ve told have just given me this look that just oozes disappointment a disbelief. But this is something I truly think I could love.
Telling my parents was the hardest part. They were struck. For my entire life I’ve told them I wanted to be a teacher and they were so happy about it. Then I tell them that I can’t do it and I don’t want to do it. The best thing was that I have never been more happy to be their daughter. We talked for a long time (me crying for most of it because I thought I was going to disappoint them). My father is one amazing man. He was so supportive of me and said that I could do whatever I wanted to do, he just wanted me to be happy. Now I know that can be cheesy, but when I heard that I have never felt more close to him. I just love how much my parents love me.
I can’t believe that it all happened a month and a few weeks ago. In such a short time I have completely reworked where my life is headed. I dropped out of university and applied to a local college back home - which I got into. I found someone to take my room and I move out on Tuesday.
So now here I am, another night that sleep escapes me. I’m packing up my life here in the town I’ve called home for 2 years. My clothes and books are in boxes, my walls are bare, and my heart is sad. I can truly say this is home. I have two places that make my heart relax and feel at ease, I have two homes. I’ve built a life here and it feels so unreal to be leaving it. I’ve made so many friends here and I have roommates that I love dearly. A home church that has helped me grow so much. A strong and supportive youth group that truly helped me start my journey with God. A young man who I can talk to for hours on end for the first time in my life. The acquaintances that I’ve met and slowly begun to know their names, I’ve never known more bus drivers in my life! Places in town where I could find the best chocolate shakes in the world, a library that frustrated me because of their crazy organization skills, and the randomness of this town - I mean who really sees a marching band led by a bear in town or an elephant wandering around on a football field. This is somewhere where I’ve learned so much and laughed so much. I’ve grown here. I may not have accomplished what I had set out to do but I feel like this was a place that I had to come to. God sent me here for a reason. This place has changed me. And I can truly say that I will miss it.
So now I finish my packing, say my goodbyes and head off to the next chapter of my life. I feel like I’m bursting with excitement, I feel like the world has opened up and I have so many possibilities! There is a line from a song I love listening to lately and I will leave this as my last words...right now I feel -
♪ Free as a spirit on a journey of hope ♪
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